I joined a certain online dating site (at the time of this writing) a few days ago, and I have to admit, it’s been a lot of fun! Most people of sound mind and rational sanity go into the cyber world for the same reason; we’re looking to find someone. Many of us, myself included, have no problem going out and meeting people, it’s just that, well, for me, a girl stumbling out of the Huntley at 2 in the morning is not exactly what I’m looking for (maybe in my youth, but not anymore). Reading this, if you’re tried it AND you live in Los Angeles, maybe you’re online because you’ve been around the block a couple of times in our fair city, and are sick of drunken guys hitting on you and never calling you, and this is the next logical step, or leap, take your pick.
There is an episode of, “How I Met Your Mother” called, “Double Date” in which Ted, our hero and protagonist, goes out on a blind date with a lovely young lady named Jen and, as their cocktails arrive, they both realize that they have been on a blind date with each other 7 years ago. “We’re scaring people away, Jen,” Ted says, and they embark on a journey together, retracing the steps of their previous date, to figure out what went wrong. They initially believe they both equally made some dumb mistakes the first time around (ladies, do the check dance, and we will offer you our coat when it’s cold), and had they just zigged where they should have zagged, they might have ended up at the altar.
However, what they both come to realize in the end is that their individual idiosyncrasies, although seemingly negative, are aspects of themselves that they love, and should therefore hold out for someone who will not only tolerate them, but love them as they do. Jen heads off into the city to find a man who will be okay with her five cats (and their costumes), and Ted rides off into the sunset to find the girl who will dig him for his “cheesy Dad” jokes.
So yes, there is a lid for every pot. In fact, multiple lids. But you already knew that. That being said, online or not, if your endgame is to settle down and get married, it can be a rough ride along the way. Life has its peaks as well as its valleys. The peaks are full of fun times, a warm touch, someone to wake up next to, talk to, and as that Old Spice fella says, get you tickets to that thing you like.
But the valleys are full of sadness, disappointment, unreturned phone calls and heartache, and sometimes those valleys can make us forget the peaks.
Online, here you are, entering into the pool of the cyber world, hoping to come out and dry off with someone special. But along the way, the weeding-out process can be a pain. For you ladies (and I assume that only women are reading this), my female friends along for the ride have told me some horror stories. A lot of horny morons who just want to get laid. They ask you for naked pictures…okay seriously who does that? Evidently, a lot of guys do. They lie about who they are. Lie about their income. They lie about being single, even.
Now, for us guys on the other side of things, I’ll share with you our two most common complaints; one, we get lied to as well. Mostly about body type, and doing that, well, that is a futile gesture, because you need to understand that men fall in love with their eyes, not their ears (not saying it’s right, just the way it is). Two, we also have girls emailing us who, similar to your complaints, just wanna get laid and send us naked pictures, unsolicited. By all means, if you are looking for Barney, fire away. But if you are looking for Ted, well, you know better.
And yet, all the details, personal testimonies and complex mathematical algorithms cannot possibly replace meeting someone in person, and only then can you decide whether or not to proceed to date #2. I met my last girlfriend online (Match), I am grateful that I met her, we parted ways amicably, but nothing we knew about each other prior to meeting in person could have indicated that we were ultimately not meant to be. I wish her nothing but the best, and I rest easy knowing she wishes the same for me. And I advise you to follow suit with each and every one of your ex’s, regardless of where you met, or how it ended. Trust me, you’ll sleep better at night.
That being said, so far here (again, at the time of this writing) I have met no one in person yet, but I’m very happy to have found this site. I am hereby shilling for OkCupid. It is more fun than work, and I have had an absolute ball doing the “match questions,” for two very important reasons; it is helping me with the filtering process (as I hope that it is helping you), but not only that, I’m learning more about myself with every question. The tests are fun, the questions are interesting, and sure enough, it’s true that you must know yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. Any additional tool along the way is always a good thing.
So yes, in spite of the valleys that we may suffer, truly, life is all about the peaks that we will love. We are very lucky to be here, still breathing, alive and kicking. And what “How I Met Your Mother” teaches us, at least what I think Bays and Thomas are aiming for, is to show us that although the roller coaster of romance on the way to love has its peaks and valleys, it’s a ride, and meant to be enjoyed as much as possible, and we should never forget that as long as we are honest with not only ourselves but each other, we’ll get what we want in life, in the end.
After all, look at the title, ‘How I Met Your Mother’; he’s telling his kids how he met the love of his life. In life, like Ted, for all of us, everything is going to be okay.