All posts by Jordan

I am Jordan Rockwell. I am a Recovering Wuss. I am the Sensitive Nice Guy, out to entertain, educate, and above all, help others.

Don’t Be THAT Guy: The Joy Killer

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This is the first in what I hope will be several attempts of mine to blog more often, maybe even build a platform for my writing partner Ashley Collins and I; we landed an agent for our book recently, but much more work need to be done! One step at a time. Once a week is better than no times a week, isn’t it? Also, perfect being the enemy of good, no more procrastinating.

You’ve heard this before; don’t be THAT guy. What does it mean to be THAT guy?

Generally speaking, it’s someone who upsets our social order. Depending on where you are from, this could mean different things to different cultures. For example, dropping a C-bomb in America is a very different thing from dropping one in England.

But here across the pond?

That guy who is the loudest moron at Thanksgiving dinner who won’t shut the f—k up about politics (Type-A personalities, this is you). That guy who texts during a movie. That guy who pisses on the toilet seat.  And so on.

Today’s post, however, and in most other, “DBTG,” posts, I’m going to ask you to not be this guy because I’ve been this guy. When you turn 40 (at least when I did), you start looking back. It’s the half way point. You look back not to wish you could go back and change things (waste of time and energy), but to learn from your mistakes, and I made a lot.

In fact, the day before my son was born, I made a mistake for the final time…I hope.

I was THAT guy who when someone tells me that they like something, I have to open my big fat mouth and explain why it sucks, thus taking away their pleasure. The Joy Killer. That was me. It’s rude, it’s narcissistic, and it’s wrong.

Example: Last Christmas, my wife and my sister-in-law are in the living room watching, that’s right, “Love, Actually.”

“UGG!” I moan as I shuffle into the room, “This again? You know this movie has nothing to do with actual love, right?”

Both ladies said something along the lines of, “Piss off, Jordan,” and went back to watching Bill Nighy and his manager get drunk and watch porn. I walked away with my tail between my legs. The fact that this article exists doesn’t matter. I had no right to do that.

But, that wasn’t enough to convince me that I was wrong. The birth of my son did the trick.

Thursday morning, November 30th, my wife is in (what we thought was going to be) the delivery room experiencing the early stages of labor. Our wonderful Doula Yana by my wife’s side, my baby-mama was actually enjoying herself (the major contractions hadn’t started yet). Yana puts on the song, “Beautiful Boy, Darling Boy,” by John Lennon.

I hear this, and believe or not, kept my big fat trap shut at first. I know, hard to believe.

Julie and Yana are both hold black belts in empathy for the men in their lives, and both inquired of my discomfort.

“John Lennon abandoned his son, Julian.”

I have an allergic reaction to parents who abandon their children, and to step-parents who divide and conquer. My late father, after he and my mother split up, never stopped letting my brother and I know that we were number 1. Our parents are gone but our step-parents remain in our lives in a close and loving way. I have examples to follow. Other people aren’t so lucky.

No, Yoko Ono did not break up the Beatles (they broke themselves up just fine) but she did drive a wedge between John and his relatives, or at least it’s alleged.

Irrelevant. I just couldn’t let them enjoy the moment because FEELINGS.

However, with the guidance of both my wife and doula, I was to finally poke a hole in one of my demons. John Lennon was a very complicated man with a beautiful but tortured soul who apparently never knew his father. He was in a lot of pain. Through that different lens, I saw him in a different light. And then?

Three days later, after our son was born, my wife and I played, “Beautiful Boy,” with our son and we both burst into tears.

We’ve played it every day at least three times since. As I typed this, I just had a little dance with Jack singing the words to him; I have the lyrics almost memorized. It’s one of the most lovely songs I’ve ever heard, and it’s a perfect representation of how my wife and I feel about our little boy.

I am grateful for Julie and Yana who set me straight and helped me wake up a little bit. You are entitled to your feelings. You are not, however, morally entitled to express them in any way you see fit. Other people matter. It is your obligation to consider their feelings. Not be ruled by them, of course, but at least consider them. When it comes to enjoying art, I don’t care if it’s the Pussycat Dolls, let people have their pleasures. Keep your negativity to yourself.

Hemingway defined courage as grace under pressure. When you look back at all of your historical heroes, did they complain and make it all about them? No, they had problems and they worked to either accept them, or solve them. Like adults. If they can do that, then you can put up with a silly British rom-com that actually has some charm in spite of its flaws, let alone a sublime song about a father’s love for his son.

Please, don’t be that guy. I will never be that guy again. Until then, Enjoy this wonderful song that gives, “Imagine,” a run for it’s money in terms of sheer musical bliss.

  

A Couple of Guys Talking Sports

Hey y’all! I (Jordan) just became a Dad (my wife is the QUEEN!) and I’m almost done dealing with the engineering stuff (long story, too boring) so I’m going to host our (Alex and I) new sports show here until further notice. Enjoy!

The concept: Alex and I are both fans, but he (and our friend Solo) know WAY more than I do, and this is a chance for those of us fans who don’t know too much to learn more!

Note: taped before my wife and I became parents. Enjoy!!!

SCi-Fi Nerd Alert Show!

Hey y’all! I (Jordan) just became a Dad (my wife is the QUEEN!) and I’m almost done dealing with the engineering stuff (long story, too boring) so I’m going to host the Nerd show here until I get things resolved. Until then, Alex and I crack wise about Star Wars games, VR and the like!

Note: taped before my wife and I became parents. Enjoy!!!

#396: Lessons for my Son

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This will be the last show before I officially become a father. Time to go out with a bang.

Hence, I ramble for an hour and change about what lessons I wish to pass on to him. Enjoy!

The lessons:

  1. Give the world value
  2. The world doesn’t run on your feelings
  3. Treat women as equals but don’t brown nose
  4. Make yourself happy alone
  5. What isn’t earned isn’t appreciated
  6. Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s right
  7. Be kind, not nice
  8. Practice active thinking
  9. Practice delayed gratification
  10. Have compassion for others
  11. Learn through rejection
  12. Learn from the past, live in the present, prepare for the future

 

#395: Gratitude

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Hello! Thanksgiving is upon upon us and so is the birth of my son (13 days and counting). Tonight, I wax poetic about:

  • How to handle the dysfunctional moon bat in your Thanksgiving family dinner (if you can’t spot it, it’s you)
  • Tips for Dads from the excellent, “Dudes to Dads,” podcast
  • Update on Chloe and her fight against cancer
  • What to do if you realize that you are a rebound for someone
  • Advice on using active gratitude to better you life

Enjoy!

#394: When Should I Not Apologize?

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Tonight, I wax poetic about:

  • Chloe’s current status in her fight against cancer
  • Why Social Media sucking out our life force is a major theme in my upcoming book’s sequel
  • Why judging all members of a race/gender/??? is counterproductive and stupid
  • How the, “Friend Zone,” can be anti-woman, but not always
  • Why I regret much but might not apologize depending on the situation
  • And more!

#393: The Rollercoaster of Life Goes On

 

ChloeTonight’s a wacky one; be warned, I bounce around tone-wise.

I begin with the sad news that my cat Chloe has cancer, then give further thoughts on Hurricane Harvey, Kevin, and Louis CK. After that, I switch gears and talk about the 70’s baby book , “Where did I come from?” and then attack morons who think they are entitled to getting autographs from underage celebrities.

As my son comes into this world, my cat prepares to go out. Needless to say, it’s been a rough couple of weeks.

#391: How to Avoid Annoying People at Bars

http://www.dcclubbing.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/pickup.jpgTonight, I spend the first 15 minutes explaining how to get rid of annoying people who mistake your polite smile for life-long friendship. Then, I ramble a bit about the end of an era. After that, I answer some wacky Quora questions. I also have some fun with people who look like the tattoo monster puked all over them. Enjoy!

#390: If It Hurts You, I Don’t Want It

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Good evening! Tonight, I ramble from a boys trip in Sin City (last one before I hunker down with the SNGal and commence, “Operation Nesting,” for the arrival of our son) of how you should actually hope for difficulty in life, in relationships, and in life. Enjoy!

#389: Harvey Weinstein and Absolute Power

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He’s not sorry for what he’s done. He’s sorry because he got caught. You can’t turn a cake into a pizza.

Good evening! Tonight, I wax poetic about:

  • Dating advice about how you should leave your ex’s alone unless you know exactly what you want from them
  • Why we lose interest in people
  • Quick thoughts on, “Blade Runner 2049.”
  • And most of all, Harvey f—king Weinstein, his crew of enablers, and what it means to be truly brave

Enjoy!

#388: The Grand Canyon, Patience and Humility

North Rim, Grand Canyon, AZ
North Rim, Grand Canyon, AZ

 

 

 

 

 

Good evening! I’m back, and tonight, I discuss (among other things) why everyone needs to not just go to the Grand Canyon some day, but hike rim to rim at least once in their lives. It doesn’t cure all of your emotional ills, but it certainly does do damage to the demons in your heart. Enjoy!

Envy and Infatuation

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HELLO! I’m back. Tonight, I discuss:

  • How Envy drives a relationship, and life, into the ground
  • The difference between niceness and kindness
  • The difference between love and infatuation
  • I like answering questions on Quora now
  • Seeing, “The Muppets Take the Bowl.”

#385: Finally…

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I’m not there yet, but I got closer last weekend.

I also wax poetic about class warfare in the Kingsman movie, why you shouldn’t settle (again), the sex-addiction drama, “Shame,” and fears I’m having as a parent-to-be. Enjoy!

#384: Virtual Reality Dating, People Banging in Public, and F is For Family Table Read

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I’m back! Tonight, I wax poetic about:

  • The table read I attended for, “F is For Family.” Many thanks for Michael Price for the invite on Twitter!
  • Why people have sex in public
  • Virtual Reality Dating
  • Reviews of Jessica Jones and Game of Thrones
  • This article and why you shouldn’t do nice things for people who don’t know you are alive.
  • This bizarre IKEA ad
  • And more!

#383: A Single Person’s Proper Mentality

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Tonight, I’m going deep on my failures of being a raging coward. Granted, I am completely ignoring the times that I was Sade’s Sweetest Taboo, but such is the life of someone still struggling with self-loathing. At least you might get something out of it.

THEN:

Life happens, and the last 3rd (or so) is about the recent Joss Whedon cluster-f from his ex-wife. I have a more nuanced position the most, at least I’d like to think so.

Enjoy!

#381: How to Deal with Loss

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Hello folks! Sadly, my cat Ketone died this week, and I dedicate tonight’s show to her, as well as all of you. Dealing with loss and pain is an unavoidable part of life, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be. Enjoy!