Category Archives: Cooking!

Healthy Mashed Potatoes Recipe

I can’t stand hippies. Whenever one of those patchouli-smelling stoned morons tells me that their soy steak/icecream/whatever is better than the real thing, I usually tend to smile politely and then eat a steak just to spite them.

That being said, my wife and I have figured out how not only to fake the real thing, but to make it taste even better. Obviously there are a lot of recipes around the net, but this is our take. A video will be uploaded shortly.

INGREDIENTS

1 cauliflower head

2-3tbs of olive oil

1 cup chicken stock

2 cans Northern White Beans

1 onion, chopped

3 garlic cloves, chopped

5 tbs sour cream

Spices to your liking: creole seasoning, salt, pepper, cayenne, ect

TOOLS

Medium sauce pan

Food processor (this is the game changer)

Deep Skillet

Steamer

DIRECTIONS

1)   Wash cauliflower and chop off the green stuff and the stems

2)   Boil about 2 cups of water in the sauce pan and steam the cauliflower about 12 minutes, until you can stick a fork through it with no effort

3)   Heat the olive oil in the skillet and toss in the onion. When it is browned to your liking, throw in the garlic and cook together until it smells like Italy

4)   Throw in the beans, then the chicken stock, and simmer. You want the chicken stock to be just covering all the beans. Get them beans nice and cooked. Mix in your spices to your liking. You’ll be doing a lot of taste testing as you move forward.

5)   Throw it all in the food processor with the cauliflower, and MIX!!!! Put in the sour cream at this point.

6)   Then, put it all back into the pot and simmer until it gets the consistency you want. The more you let it simmer, the thicker it’ll be. I like to simmer it on low, then turn the heat off and wait a few minutes.

7)   Enjoy!

SNG RECIPE: New York Sirlion Steak with Red Wine Cream Sauce

It’s been way too long since I a) have done an honest to God blog post and b) shared a recipe. I’m currently working out like an bandit, but also eating properly. I’m getting married in a few months, and I do not want a double-chin on my wedding day. I’m only getting married once. This is it. Those of you who have been through the wedding planning process know exactly what I’m talking about.

Anyway, getting into shape is 90% diet and resistance training (sorry folks, but if you think you’re going to lose weight and look fabulous at the beach while eating whatever you want and only doing cardio, you’re in for bitter disappointment. Furthermore, if you are able to read a magazine or text (you suck) while exercising, you will not lose weight. Period.

Anyway, I am no means a chef, or a nutritionist, or a doctor. Thank heavens. Take everything I say with a grain of creole seasoning. I simply follow the advice of this guy, who was a guest on my show last year and knows what he’s talking about. Tom is a lovely man as well as a sincere human being (us Libertarian-minded folks tend to be) and I’m going to plug his work any chance I get. Quite simply, it’s high fat, moderate protein, and low carb.

I also use a wonderful program called, “My Fitness Pal” to keep track of everything, and since I’m obsessive that way, I dig it. No, they aren’t paying me to plug that either…yet.

Anyway, on to today’s recipe, the Steak with Red Wine Cream Sauce. Believe it or not, I originally found this recipe in Steven Schirripa’s “A Goombah’s Guide to Life.” I’m a big fan of the guy and his books are hilarious, but most of the recipes will lead you to an early grave. This one won’t. Because, as we know know, Saturated Fats aren’t bad for you. Quite the opposite in fact.

Anyway, here it is, slightly modified (i.e. the Sensitive Nice Gal gave me some pointers). It all started with Steve, hence he deserves original credit.

INGREDIENTS

  • half a stick of butter
  • 3 medium sized New York Sirloin steaks, defrosted (I recently used one big one that was about 13 ounces total). Try that. This will serve 2
  • salt and pepper
  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 2 garlic cloves, slice and diced
  • 1/2 cup of dry red wine (I did it with Cabernet Sav)
  • 1/2 cup (give or take) of heavy cream

TOOLS

  • Medium-sized Skillet
  • Big knife (think what Glenn Close tried to kill Michael Douglas with in, “Fatal Attraction”
  • Cutting Board
  • Wooden Spoon
  • Tongs
  • Stove Top
  • Oven
  • tin foil
  • cooking sheet
  • measuring cup

DIRECTIONS

  1. Throw on a Frank Sinatra Record (I like, “Come Fly with Me).
  2. Pour yourself a glass of that dry red wine. Raise a toast to Steve, and me, for sharing this recipe with you.
  3. Pre-heat the oven to 350 (this means turn the oven on to 350 and wait about 10 minutes…you can do #4-7 while you wait)
  4. Take out the steak (which you’ve already defrosted) and season it with salt and pepper.
  5. Put the skillet on the stove, and turn the heat to about medium high
  6. throw in the butter. Watch it melt. Savor the smell.
  7. Put the Steak in the skillet and cook it for about 3-5 minutes on either side, depending on how you like your steak. Try to get a nice seer on it. Afterwards, put it on a plate and set it aside
  8. SIDE NOTE – at some point, before step 12, you will put your steak in the oven and cook it for about 10 minutes, once again, depending on how you like your steak. I like ‘em medium, so for me, this is about 8 minutes. Up to you.
  9. Don’t toss out the remaining butter. Throw in the onions and cook ‘em good. Mix ‘em around, dry off the tears until they are nice and loose (like your sister).
  10. Then, toss in the garlic and mix it all around. Get them cooked but not too brown. Cooking takes time and precision. No way around it if you want this to taste good
  11. About 5 minutes later, toss in the red wine. Use the wooden spoon (which you’ve been using already) to mix it all around. Get it bubblin’! After about 4 minutes, start pouring in the cream (no more than half a cup). Do it until the color of your goo is somewhere between red and brown. Your goal here is to have it thick like soup, not runny like water.
  12. When the taste and feel is what you want, turn off the heat, take the steaks out of the oven, and put them on the skillet with your awesome goo for about 4 minutes. Take the skillet off the stove and set it aside. Mix the goo around with your steak.
  13. At this point, your date has arrived and brought a side dish of some kind. I suggest a nice Italian salad with a balsamic vin. Pour them and yourself a glass of wine.
  14. EAT!
  15. Whatever happens after that, is up to you