Tag Archives: dating advice

Having the Last Laugh

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Hello! In my final show before, “you know what,” I crack wise about:

  • Fitness update
  • Laughing being one of the better tools in the toolbox of life
  • Having empathy for Ariana Grande
  • Toxic people avoidance
  • And more!

Enjoy!

What Good Would It Do?

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Happy New Year! 2016 behind us, 2017 on the way, I dive head first into the shallow end of the pointlessness of anxiety, the joys of VR, my goals for this year, and more! Enjoy, and welcome back!

Advice For Ladies: SAY WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND

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Courtesy of, “http://thechive.com/2015/05/20/welcome-to-the-mythical-world-of-lady-logic-30-photos/#gallery-item-23?NV:.lngnxd:NxOZ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following exchange happened, oh, I dunno, 45 bah-jillions times before I met my wife:

Me: Honey, what’s wrong?

Her: (shuffles) Nothing.

Me: Are you sure?

Her: Yes, I’m sure. (looks away). Nothing is wrong.

Me: Really?

Her: Yes really.

That goes on for an hour. Sometimes longer.  I spin in circles while she does something passive-aggressive. Calls an ex-boyfriend. Eats ice cream, then throws it up. Poops with the door open, whatever.

Then, an argument occurs that, on the surface, appears to be about who didn’t do the dishes, but is actually about her jealousy of me having female friends.

I would estimate that 99.9999999999% of my relationships festered into a cluster-f–k demise in no small part due to this kind of behavior. No, I was not perfect (far from it) but I’m just giving you my point of view, ladies, from the other side.

However, I was about 6 months into dating the woman I am now married to when the following occurred:

Julie (marches into living room): Jordan, can I talk to you for a second? I know you’re watching the game…oh, I’ll wait for Chris Tillman to blow it again.

Jordan: Thanks (Tillman gives up 6 runs at the bottom of the 2nd, and the inning mercifully ends). What’s up, babe?”

Julie: Well, the thing is, we are having a party tonight and I did all the shopping, and did all the dishes…I just feel like I didn’t get enough praise for that.

Jordan: Oh. You’re absolutely right, babe. I’m sorry. I really appreciate you doing all the hard work. I apologize.

This went on for a year and a half. We would have a problem of some kind that I wasn’t aware of, and Julie would calmly explain it to me. Then, one day, it dawned on me…no woman I have ever met has done this before.

No passive-aggressive nonsense. No playing of games. Straight talk. To the point.

She will actually march into a room and tell me in clear and concise language what is on her mind. No yelling. NO YELLING.

Whether she is correct in seeking praise is irrelevant (she is). What matters is that she is a black belt at communication. And, “miscommunication,” is uttered as a reason for divorce just as much as, “irreconcilable differences.”

Ladies, do you have any idea of how awesome this is??? I almost married her on the spot. Of course, she already had an engagement ring on that I had given her, so I was covered.

If you have a problem, but you can’t find the words, take a breather. Go for a walk.  Better yet, if he asks you what’s wrong, say, “I can’t quite find the words yet, I need to think about it, and I will get back to you, okay?”

It is so nice to be married to a woman who is nice as well as sane.

Anatomy of a Break-Up

5 Things NOT to say to Women

While we are waiting for our technical difficulties to resolve themselves (the next podcast with Melissa and Tracy will be up Saturday, followed by one by me alone next Wednesday), I thought I’d share this with you, a slight addendum to my last solo one about how to talk to women.

Here are a few things NOT to say to get the ball rolling with the fairer sex:

“Do I know you from somewhere?” I tried this the other day in DC, and guess what?  I was being sincere; I really thought she looked familiar (I’m convinced we went to college together).  But I got shot down like an idiot.  Big mistake.  Even sincerity doesn’t work with this one.

“You’re hot”: She already knows that, and you are now pathetic for trying.

“What’s going on/What’s up?/Hey” Ditto.  Says the same thing, and you are boring.  You need to ask an open ended question that shows your wit and your sincere interest in her, not a couple of syllables that ask her to do all the work.

“Are you going to keep staring or are you going to come over?” Yup, tried this one a few years ago, got shot down in flames.  You want to appear the alpha and confident, not an arrogant jerk.  Indeed, I know when I’m being checked out.  But this is not the way to handle it.

“Put them away.” Yes, this happened once, by my hand.  Guilty.  Yes, girls will show off their assets, and the unfair world we live in dictates that we must pretend to ignore them (all two of them).  It sucks, but if you can keep your eyes engrossed in hers and not her amazing cans on display, you just might be able to see said-cans in the nude later on.

Any more you wish to share? Ladies?  Jump in!